I remember this a being a somewhat good episode, but Phil said he didn’t like it. I became quite the fan of Ferengi and even purchased a copy of the Rules of Acquisition, as while watching this show, I had the desire to compile them myself. So maybe I am remembering with rose-colored glasses. We shall see.
Shot of the station, cut to a Ferengi, looking cautious follow in on a taller alien assisting a cloaked figure carrying a staff topped with a gold Ferengi head. Cut to Jake, getting ready for school. Commander Sisko has a 3-day trip to Bajor lined up for them, but Jake doesn’t want to go because he’s got plans with Nog for tomorrow. Cut to Quark, serving a pretty female Bajoran guest in his establishment. Quark then chastises Rom for violating the 1st Rule of Acquisition, “Once you have their money, you never give it back,” as he had found and returned the woman’s misplaced moneybag. Cut to Nog stacking glasses and data pads, who is then chastised by Rom, who then delegates the work to Nog that Quark asked him to do as punishment for violating the First Rule. I’m already enjoying this episode. Cut to the cloaked figure with the cautious Ferengi, and the tallish alien who is about two feet taller than the Ferengi, probably over 6′ [2m] tall. Cut back to Quark telling a joke to Morn. The cautious Ferengi announces that he is looking for Quark. Who introduces himself, Krax, and his father, the Grand Nagus Zek[1] Quark immediately snaps to attention and kisses the gold head on the staff, and we realize that this is a person of great importance in the Ferengi alliance (he is in fact, the highest leader of the Ferengi, but that isn’t spelled out here). Cue intro after a 5 minute cold opening.
Miles is substitute teaching for his wife. Nog says that Vulcans stole his ethics homework, because they don’t have ethics, which is at least on point and funny, causing some giggles in the class. He gets Jake to cover (lie) for him, and O’Brien says that the essay must be in by tomorrow. I’m really going in-depth on this point here, perhaps more than I should, but it will probably come into play with some sort of morality lesson with Jake’s father.
Cut to the Grand Nagus enjoying the holo-suite with an obnoxious giggle. Quark has a conversation with Rom regarding their prospects, or lack thereof, due to the Nagus’s presence. The Nagus emerges and requires Quark to invite him to dinner.
Cut to Sisko and O’Brien discussing school and Jake’s friendship with Nog. Cut back to the Ferengi dinner. Feregni eat bugs. We learn Rule 6, “Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.” The Nagus is distressed to learn that Nog is attending a Federation school. Quark is pleased to learn that the Nagus does not want to take over the bar, but to make use of it for a meeting regardin the future of Ferengi business, the Gamma quadrant. Dun dun dun! Commercial break.
Lots of Feregi start showing up and the station is concerned with security. Cut to preparation for meeting. Morn tries to enter the bar, and gets shooed away by Quark. The Nagus requires Quark to stay while they conduct the meeting. Cut to Nog and Jake. Nog says he’s through with school, and it’s boring and stupid. In reality, he’s compensating for missing Jake now that he is not allowed to attend. Cut back to the Nagus’s meeting, which feels like a corporate board meeting. The Nagus apparently is the executive leader of the Ferengi, which for them is in a commercial sense, as they are portrayed as the ultimate capitalists. They will start a new endeavor in the Gamma quadrant, where their reputation does not precede them. And he who will lead this endeavor? The New Grand Nagus, none other than Quark! The entire assembly leaves in disgust, including the Nagus’s son, but not Quark or the Nagus’s personal attendant and poison tester, the tall alien. Cut to (half-way) commercial, of course.
Jake not eating his oatmeal, due to being upset about Nog.
Grand Nagus Quark now has to be concerned about sycophants and adversaries. Quark asks the former Nagus for advice, who then dies in his presence. [2]
Later, at the funeral, Rom suggests he take over Quark’s bar, which causes Quark to do a spit take and start laughing. Odo shows up with his usual suspicion. The Nagus’s body has been vacuum desiccated to be sold as a prize collectible. Cut to Nog and Jake hanging out together, who decide to remain friends. Jake has an idea for something they could do. Cut back to Odo asking Quark what Grand Nagus means, and Quark explains some of the protocols. Quark notices a coin and while he bends down to pick it up, a flying grenade explodes above his head, missing him due to his being bent over. This commercial break is not so obnoxious.
Sisko, Odo, and O’Brien are investigating the incident, when Bashir comes in to report his results of his examination of Quark, who is fine. Sisko notices Jake and Nog playing together while on the way to question Quark. The only person not at the Funeral, and thus somehow the only one who could have set the bomb was the tall alien, which Odo says is very odd for him to have not shown up at the funeral. Cut to Commander Sisko saying that Jake was out after midnight, and Jake refuses to tell his father what he was doing.[3] Cut to Quark having an audience with a petitioner, which he handles astutely. He walks out and Rom and Krax are revealed to be the ones plotting to kill Quark. Cut to commercial.
When we return, we see Sisko throwing a baseball in frustration into a catcher’s mitt he is wearing. Dax comes in and finds out that Sisko was planning on having dinner with his son, but his son is nowhere to be found. While I think to myself, why doesn’t he find Jake? Dax recommends that Sisko find Jake and bring him back to eat his dinner. The computer is able to locate Jake Sisko. This is interesting, because he doesn’t have a communicator, but whenever the the computer is tasked to find someone how has a communicator, it always reports the communicator’s location and not the actual person’s location. Sisko goes to find Jake, and discovers that he and Nog were … ahh… Jake was teaching Nog how to read.
Cut to Rom and Quark preparing to depart for the Gamma quadrant, under suspicious circumstances. Meanwhile, Odo is tracking the tall alien. Rom and Krax trap Quark in an airlock to which no ship is docked. The Nagus shows up, very much not dead, and orders them to stop trying to kill Quark. The Nagus give his son a dressing down, paralleling the issues Rom and Sisko were having with their children. This is a very funny scene. The Nagus then threatens to potentially buy the bar from Quark eventually, as Quark initially feared he was there to do. Quark then rewards Rom’s treachery, in true Ferengi fashion. Cut to Jake and Nog hanging out, where Nog ogles an attractive Vulcan female. This is funny because Vulcan. Sisko shows up to tell Jake how proud he is of him and that he can hang out with Nog. End episode.
Final Grade: B
I quite liked this episode. it wasn’t great, but the good things I remembered of it held up, and I quite liked the part about Jake and Nog, despite not remembering it. I fear that this review is too much just a thorough plot description, but hopefully I bring it enough it enough color to make it a worthwhile report.
1. Played by Wallace Shawn, known for playing Vizzini in The Princess Bride.
He also was in a pilot TV episode about blinds salesmen (yes, a show based on the old “blind man” joke) where he was the worst performing salesman, quite ironically different from a Grand Nagus.
2. Having seen this before, I recall that the Nagus isn’t really dead.
3. I suspect, incorrectly, that this is some sort of surprise for Sisko.